Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-107.72.162.51-20171024160343

This game is bad. And it should feel f*cking bad. And you will feel bad after seeing it with this Forum Post. I'm just doing this to kill my boredom, so have fun joining me along for the ride.

1. This game exists.

2. Ahhh yes, just another sh*tty game Ludia just made out of their asses.

3. Loading way too long.

4. While this sh*tty game loads, let me state what the trivia says about this game; it has way too many illogical inaccuracies. Yes, I understand that the JP Franchise has always oversized their Velociraptors, but they have a reason to back up their inaccuracies, and that is because in order to complete the DNA Code, you HAVE to fill in Animal DNA, thus making them very different from their real counterparts, which everyone is completely fine with, thus stating that the JP Velociraptors aren't Deinonychus; the JP Raptors are just themselves, only oversized with their skulls reshaped to make them look like Deinonychus, oh and yes, no feathers, thus another result from DNA filling. This game however, only involves the DNA Sequence when mutating your dinosaurs; you get DNA in cards by making dinosaurs fight. And guess what; this game shows some dinosaurs as bullsh*t; they oversized every large theropod and gave it 2 fingers (with the exception of Carnotaurus, Metriacanthosaurus, and Yutyrannus) and oversized them to the size of T.Rex, making every sauropod, even Argentinosaurus (which in case you didn't know was the 3-5th largest sauropod) the same size as Apatosaurus, oversizing every Spinosaurid to be as large as Spinosaurus, as well as many other inaccuracies which I will point out later. There, the loading is done. it's finally over.

5. Instead of clouds zooming in to the park Jurassic World, instead we get a flying f*cking helicopter intro carrying a cage containing an African cannibalistic dinosaur known as Majungasaurus.

6. They oversized Majungasaurus to T.Rex size and gave it 2 fingers... Amazing. And they do the same to Allosaurus, Giganotosaurus, and countless other theropods. Like, why can't they make him appear in a JP Movie? Maybe his genus is on Sorna.

7. They f*cking forced Majungasaurus (my favorite dinosaur) to fight a flippin' Triceratops... Wow.

8. Owen Grady somehow is able to amazingly train this Triceratops, Holy Sh*t! And Vic Hoskins stepped his game up by having the exact Majungasaurus as a pet! That means that Owen does own Raptors AND Trikes as b*tches!

9. Owen literally retreats from a fight purely for the f*cking tutorial on how to evolve dinosaurs. Watarethose?!

10. Now then, in Jurassic World, Owen hated Wu for creating the I.Rex. But in this stupid game, Owen and Wu team up like unlikely pals to evolve Owen's Trike. It's almost like how in TLW:JP, Nick hated Roland, but a Fanfiction proves otherwise.

11. So, you probably evolved Owen's Trike by simply emphasizing and toning its colors... And if color DOES affect a dinosaur's strength, then that's a sign that we are entering Pokemon Evolution.

12. Okay, back totha battlarena...

13. This time there is this worthless advantage/disadvantage system. Lemme layitout.


 * Carnivores beat Herbivores


 * Herbivores beat Pterosaurs


 * Pterosaurs beat Amphibians


 * Amphibians beat Carnivores

This is 50% accurate and 50% fake-as-f*ck. Sure, carnivores do beat the sh*t out of herbivores, same thing as pterosaurs with amphibians. But Carnivores can have win-wins with Pterosaurs and sometimes amphibians (well large ones like Sarcosuchus, the rest is tiny), while Herbivores can have win-wins with Amphibians like Sarcosuchus. Just because this bullsh*t system only exists to establish the rules, this does NOT apply to real life. Trust me on this one.

14. Trike wins, poor Majunga😢

15. Why. The. F*ck. Is. There. A. Card. Pack.?????

16. The first motherf*cking creature we ever get is a Tropeognathus from a card pack.

17. There is a hatchery where you can hatch creatures based on their rank; Common (the weakest), Rare (most coolest), Super Rare (your favorite dinos), Legendary (Strong), and Legendary with fancy gold background and glittery sparkles (the most overpowered dinos). Common can just take minutes, Rare takes a few hours, Super Rare takes several hours, Legendary takes days, and S. Legendary takes a few weeks. That's so stupid!

18. Microtransactions for Bills, Coins, and Food.

19. Okay, so when you max Majunga and Trike, you get some stupid/normal seeming designs, where Trike has a ridiculous superpronounced frill that looks like a tumor or something (which would make him look like an alpha Trike), where Majunga's only pronounciation is just a row of spikes across its back. However, Tropeognathus's max form grabs my interest, cuz of its crest head, which is bent forward thus looking like a banana. That is the ONLY cool design in this entire game, and the rest is sh*tty. *Plays "Mi Gente" beat*

20. Heyyy, Alanqa joins the party too😀

21. Okay, one of the main reasons why this game sucks is because of how you collect dinosaurs and DNA. It pisses me off because unlike most games, like Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis and Jurassic Park: Builder (this game is slightly better than JW:TG), you get Dinosaur DNA of over 50-65 dinosaur species (some of which weren't even in the Mesozoic Era, and I'm not counting the Aquatic creatures nor the Cenozoic Creatures) by making the dinosaurs you already have fight... Amazing.

22. Last time, there was Jurassic Park: The Game. Is it compared with this one. Aww hell no. That game was so awesome, because it was an action game about the backstory of Jurassic Park. Wish they would have done the same with this.

23. Limnoscelis has come to have fun😃

24. Is it just me, or are they treating the characters like background storylines? Like Owen is such a bad-ass, along with sexy sexy Claire 😍, with my favorite bros Zach and Gray, and this game treats 'em like sh*t. I don't know why they would make you building a park with obscure dinos (Trike, Majunga, Banana, Alan, and Limnozilla) the main center focus in this whole game. Like Christ why would they do that?

25. Also, since there IS a DNA producer that can only be accessed by being a VIP, that is one of the worst sins that I have ever marked.

26. Also Eryops is literally being disputed with seriousness.

27. Inconvenient Tuojiangosaurus looks inconveniently flexible to me.

28. Okay, like WTF? Why did they downsize Utahraptor? That's too far, even for JP Terms.

29. My last sin completely relates to Guanlong being misclassified as a dromaeosaur, when in reality it was a tyrannosaur.

30. Another awful sin that I'm going to mark is the fact that it doesn't have particular dinosaurs. No Brachiosaurus? No Baryonyx? No Compsognathus? No Herrerasaurus? No Microceratus? No Deinonychus? This game sucks ass.

31. Also, Gallimimus looks completely different from his JP Counterpart in terms of look and his face (and color).

32. Labyrinthodontia, Tapejara, and Koolasuchus are misconcepted in this game. Let me correct them. 1. The term 'Labyrinthodontia' is actually a name for a family for whatever this creature's name belongs to. So yeah, maybe we should rename this poor little guy. 2. Tapejara started off MUCH MUCH worse than Parasaurolophus, and that would be a huge diss, considering that it is shunned in the JP Franchise. Making it appear in this game won't help it with anything, so we want to believe that his genus should be on Sorna (like Majunga). 3. Koolasuchus is misclassified as a usually cold-blooded amphibian. Yes, Koolasuchus did live in the Mesozoic Era, unlike 'most' amphibians in this game, and it was a cold-blooded amphibian, BUT not as cold-blooded as most amphibians; this guy preferred to live in cool climates in his time, exactly how 1 species of toad likes to live in Alaska.

33. Just in case you would misconcept dinosaurs as kaijus when you see them fight each other purely not just for new dinosaurs, but also for food, coins, card packs, rewards, and plenty of other stuff, most noticeably 'boss battles' where you fight mutated dinosaurs that look ugly and monstrous.

34. In their cages, the dinosaurs seem illogically inaccurately accurate, but when you zoom out to the rest of the island, their size is just as big as kaijus! The raptors and the pterosaurs all seem like the size of T.Rex, while the sauropods seem larger than the Blue Whale, which in real life ONLY very few sauropods can make the Blue Whale look like a shrimp.

35. Did they seriously classify Metriorhyncus as a land dwelling amphibian? In real life it was a marine crocodile, like Dakosaurus and Geosaurus.

36. In order to conceal their damned lies, they will say stuff like 'Build Your Own Theme Park!' or 'Create Powerful Hybrids!' So in order for you to stop ranting how I am brutally criticizing this game for how stupid it is, I'll add 10 sins for 10 inaccuracies/stupidities about this game that makes me too cringy to even reveal them. +10

46. The ONLY good (if not GREAT) hybrids that this crappy game ever came up with (excluding Indominus) are Stegoceratops (this hybrid HAS to come eventually into a movie), Ankylodocus, Carnoraptor, and Spinoraptor. Yes, Koolasaurus, Tropeogopterus, Metrialong, Suchoripterus, and Gorgosuchus, although these 5 look silly, don't suck and are cool in their ways. Everything else is just sh*t; Pachyceratops looks like an alien due to her dome (which I admit is kinda cool and freaky too), Parasaura looks rushed and dumb, Giganocephalus isn't a f*cking theropod with Ankylo club, and the one that disappoints me the most is Supprannotitan. Uhh no, rename it Supertitan, and make it a sauropod with T.Rex head and legs!

47. I wonder why they made the animals that could challenge T.Rex (like Trike (that rhymed)) the weakest creatures, while they made tiny animals that would be pulped in real life the strongest animals (like Mastodonsaurus, Tanycolagreus, and Pterodactylus). We are seeing the Virginia Plan here!

48. Also I have noticed that when they first began this game, they redone designs of Spinosaurus, Stegosaurus, and Argentinosaurus.

49. Now they released a boss event with a f*ckin shark...? Wow. U'know that poor shark ain't no different than the poor purple mutated dinosaurs that were wrongly depicted as fierce and evil monsters.

50. All right, who is THIS sexy little trader? Is she trading stuff with us in exchange for my stuff? She is even selling dinosaur cards! And we thought that the makers of this game weren't the only ones hiding their secret of putting Dinosaur DNA into cards...

51. Now we gots this card pack harbor with a 1% chance of getting an animal pack. At least no one walks away empty-handed.

52. Doedicurus sucked when he first came out.

53. Also this game is Dododist; it places Dodos as food for carnivorous Cenozoic Creatures.

54. Can this game reveal Mosasaurus's true size in JW?

55. Also they plan to add more hybrids that would look needless. Right now, they released Yudon, which I admit is badass, but add the toe claw to Yudon, and I would have removed a sin. But no, they did not.

56. This game is waaay toooo long and big for me to count out, so it will be up to you to count out the remaining sins. For now, I'll give this 50 (and 4) sins to predict my exact talley. Leave your point-outs in the comment section below. +54

Sin Counter: 110

Sentence: ..... The most crappiest JP Movie would be based off of this.

 